Hammond Beach, FL

This is amazing. I said before this all began that I didn’t really have a point to this trip, but of course that’s a lie. The truth is the point of this trip can’t really be captured with words. Its sort of on the tip of my mind. I don’t think I’m looking for answers as much as I’m looking for the right questions to ask. Laying on the beach I feel like I’m getting closer to the questions. Hopefully I’ll figure something out before I get back to Wyoming. At my current pace I should be there by 2011.

I spent the day relaxing on the beach, drinking cheap red wine and watching skittish little crabs digging out their holes. When nighttime came I made friends with the four guys camped next to me. This was probably the most social I have been with strangers since the trip began. We drank their beer, ate hot dogs sans buns, smoked cigars and discussed all the usual topics: women, classic cars, traveling and sports.

The next morning I was up in time to watch the sun rise over the ocean. How does one describe such a thing? One doesn’t. All one can do is say its something everyone should see at least once in their life.

Palatka, FL

It was a great day. Tonight I'm gonna park in Estonia State Park just west of town. I’m about 40 miles from the ocean right now and depending when I get up I should be able to spend almost all day tomorrow lazing about the beach. I didn’t want to get any closer tonight for fear of not being able to find a sneaky place to park. In less populated areas its not much of a problem, but the more concentrated an area is the more likely I am to get bothered by a cop or a nosy, er, concerned citizen. Generally (obviously), the closer one gets to the ocean the denser the population.

This park is actually meant for day use only, but they don’t have any signs saying I can’t park overnight and the gate wasn’t locked sooo, here I am. The bathroom was even unlocked, joy joy joy. They must want me to stay here, but even so, I’m gonna try to be extra special quiet tonight.

Usually I tend to overnight in Walmart parking lots because as long as you don’t park up close to the building, they don’t mind short stays. I guess the thinking is that if you stay the night, chances are you will spend some money in the store before breaking “camp”. It’s pretty safe, convenient and completely depressing to wake up to. There is definitely an art to boondocking (see: www.phrannie.org/boondock.html).

Opelika, AL

US 280 is a four-lane divided highway that mainly connects Birmingham to Savannah. I say mainly because highways in this country were much more multi-purpose in the pre-Interstate Highway Act of 19-whatever days. Highways were mainstreets of towns and parade routes and spectator sports for the locals long before they evolved into efficient and convenient ways of getting from A to C without being bothered by B. This highway has intersections and stoplights and if you aren’t careful it might peel off one direction or another and let you glide right past into some new and unintentional adventure (i.e. getting lost).

I’m sitting at a rest stop now and was contemplating the differences in rest stops from one state to another. Many are just your basic bathrooms and picnic tables style. Some of these have added vending machines in a small nod towards capitalism. Others, like the turnpike rest stops in Pennsylvania, have visitors centers complete with fast food, Starbucks, a gift shop and a gas station. Iowa had wi-fi and fully touch-free restrooms (everything but the door operated via motion sensors). Here in Alabama (as in most southern states) they are pretty basic, but with one little oddity. There is a little red button located just outside the men’s restroom which (if pressed) will give you the local weather. I’m guessing it’s outside the men’s room because all you women shouldn’t worry your pretty little heads about such things. You should be focused on cooking and tending to the young‘uns, at least that’s the way it is (or was when this place was built) in Alabama.

Clinton, AR

Well, I didn’t exactly make record time, but then again I rarely do these days. About 6 miles into this leg of the journey I realized I had left my trusty (if a little torn and beaten) road atlas at the Erie Kansas Shangri-La (LS’s house). Hating to backtrack, especially for a torn and beaten road atlas that wasn’t the road atlas I had in mind when I bought it so many miles ago, I stopped at a gas station and found the large scale, badass atlas I had wanted all along.

Things went smoothly from there until I hit the Ozark mountains of northern Arkansas. I knew the two-lane blacktops here would be a little slower going, but I forgot how nauseous I get after a few hours of the steep and twisties. In Eureka Springs I had to pull over and lay down in the back for an hour or so to let my head clear. Luckily, the road straightened out a few miles further on or I wouldn’t have gotten this far.

Now that I’ve logged a few miles with this vehicle I do have one very serious complaint. The cup holders suck. I have five of them within reach in three different sizes and as far as I can tell there isn’t a single cup in all of existence that fits any of them. I drove through a Taco Bell and a scant 7 seconds after pulling away with a bag o’ crap, my large soda took a header off the center console and exploded on the carpet. Cursing at the mess didn’t seem to help (despite my very energetic efforts) so I ended up using half a roll of paper towels trying to soak it up.

Maybe Ford makes a line of travel cups designed to fit snugly in those oddly sized depressions, but if they do, they hold a monopoly on that niche.